5 easy ways to persuade others that you are trustworthy

5 easy ways to persuade others that you are trustworthy5 easy ways to persuade others that you are trustworthyThe FBI is under deserved scrutiny for its investigation into the 2016 election. In my time as an agent, we welcomed outside inquiries because its essential that investigators be non-partisan and non-biased. Lessons from ur history books remind us that the result is bedrngnis always morally acceptable when the few in power decide who should win, or lose, an election. The results may not be to our personal liking, but investigators must be perceived as trustworthy in their pursuit of the truth.Agents who worked criminal crimes had it easy because it was more of a just the facts approach to an investigation. Laws helped to establish clear lines of acceptable behavior. My work was in counterintelligence which relied on building trust. I was assigned the colossal sales job of persuading foreign spies to work for the U.S. government. Theres no possible reason why a foreign spy wou ld want to continue a conversation with me.It was essential that I created strong relationships built on trust, even when they knew I was an FBI agent. Especially when they knew, because they looked for deception and traps.As entrepreneurs, business owners, and sales people, youre in the saatkorn boat. You need to persuade others that youre trustworthy in an era of deceit and cynicism. Maybe what your potential customers hear about you isnt correct, or even fair, but that doesnt stop the rumors from flying around and your reputation can be at stake.Often the question is not whether people lie, its what are they lying about? Do they stretch their optimism and hope that business will turn around? Will they create a fabrication like Bernie Madoff? Does the CEO tell a half-truth or do they simply omit an important piece of information?Here are 5 easy ways to persuade others that you are trustworthy1. Start With Self-AwarenessOur greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the wor ld as being able to remake ourselves- GandhiRemember that people deceive themselves as much as they deceive others. They may be unaware of how others perceive them. People can deceive themselves and believe any number of things- sometimes they exaggerate their own importance or abilities to impress others. Sometimes theyre too critical of their own efforts. At other times, they dont give themselves enough credit for their accomplishments.The incredible thing about self-deception is that not only are we telling a lie, but were lying to ourselves We all have blind spots about our own performance.How To Make It Work For You Dont sabotage yourself and your best efforts to be seen as trustworthy to others by a lack of self-awareness. Work to understand your emotions- what you feel and what triggered it- so you can choose whether your response is productive and effective.Mental toughnessis the ability to manage your emotions, thoughts, and behavior in ways that set you up for success.2. K eep Your WordAs simple as this sounds, its one of the most important steps in building a foundation of trust. Do what you say and say what you do. When you cancel an appointment or fail to follow through, it creates fractures in your trustworthiness.It might not seem like a big deal to you, but repeated failures to keep your word add up over time. People will perceive you as less trustworthy so when you make a promise, keep it.How To Make It Work For You If you cant keep a promise, explain why you cant. You may need to make a new promise to make it up. Be aya to keep this new promise no matter what This also means that you show up on time and respond quickly to emails and phone calls.3. Learn to Communicate In A Clear MannerI once had a supervisor who seemed to change his mind every week about the squads strategy on reporting contacts with foreign spies. Whether he actually did change his mind or not, his lack of ability to communicate his thoughts undermined our trust in him. His l ack of ability to communicate in a clear and consistent manner caused many failed relationships with the agents on his squad.How To Make It Work For You Clear and constructive communication encourages honest conversations. It also means theyre willing to admit their mistakes and communicate them to those who both rely upon and trust them. It is an constructive reaction that shows genuine interest in the good of all. A good communicator will also ask for more details to show their interest and acknowledge the experiences or feelings of the other person. They will be consistent in their response and the message they send to others.4. Commit To The RelationshipAuthentic conversations are built when people are committed to grow and deepen the relationship, not just to maintain the status quo. If the relationship is the central consideration, mutual commitments are essential to avoid concerns about manipulation or control in the conversation.How To Make It Work For YouSpeak to the other persons interests and priorities. Validate them and their choices. Dont judge their behavior, actions, or choices. It means you will need to invest the time it takes to be a true friend who is concerned about their well-being.5. Stop Being A Prick Its Not All About YouThis should be obvious, but the ich is a wild beast that needs to be tamed on a regular basis. Your time with the other person really does need to be about the other person. Trustworthiness can be undermined by vanity and ego when the conversation no longer focuses on the person in front of you.Research tells us that we are most happy when we have positive social interactions and relationships. Our brain rewards us when we are able to share our views, desires, and goals with others. The simplest way to persuade others that you are trustworthy is make it all about them. And mean it.How To Make It Work For You Dont let your ego override your mouth and good intentions. Dont talk about yourself. Do spend time with follow-u p questions from your last meeting with them. When you make every single statement about the other person and not about yourself, it becomes very powerful. It builds trust because it conveys two simple messages 1) they are important, and 2) you care about them. It shapes everything else from that point forward.This post was originally published on LaRaeQuy.com.

Video Interview 6 Things You Might Not Think of But Should

Video Interview 6 Things You Might Not Think of But ShouldVideo Interview 6 Things You Might Not Think of But ShouldFor a lot of us, job vorstellungsgesprchs can be nerve-wracking and stressful. They can also be costly, what with having to pay for commuting costs (i.e., gas, tolls, public transportation, parking, etc.). And then theres your interview outfit- since your potential boss is going to be seeing you for the first time, you might want to make a positive impression with a knock-em-dead outfit and fancy briefcase or bag. What about doing a video interview, though?When youre looking for a remote job, the job interview process might seem a whole lot easier. You dont have to worry about shelling out money to get there and back, or offering a handshake with clammy hands. Heres the thing, though. A video interview is not as easy as it might seem.Here are six things you might never think of when doing a video interview, butshould.1. Cover up your tattoos.Whether youre sleeved or spo rt a single tat, you absolutely, positively should cover it up during your job interview. While you might think that a potential employer wont spot the little angel on your wrist, he probably will- and might think there are more tats where that came from. Dont give a potential employer the chance to cast a negative (and incorrect) impression of you, and cover up all of your tattoos accordingly.2. Close the windows.Sure, you like to feel the breeze wafting through your home geschftszimmer while you job search, but its a good idea to keep the windows closed during a video interview. Why? Well, if youre living in the city, theres a good chance that horns will be honking just at the moment when the hiring manager says something critical- and you cant hear it. Or if you live out in the sticks, chances are the FedEx truck will plow down your driveway just as you get into the nitty gritty of the job interview, setting off your dogs and causing them to bark and howl. Which brings us to3. Pu t away your pets. Although you love it when Sam your pitbull snuggles by you while you go through job postings, its smart to move him away from where youll be conducting the video interview. You never know what could set him off and make him bark, whimper, or howl, and that can be construed as unprofessional (after all, you wouldnt bring him to an in-office job interview, right?). So even if its hard to separate yourself from your four-legged sweetie, do it during the video interview.4. Clean up your space.In its current condition, you would say that your office sports a messy chic look. But to a hiring manager, all hell see in the background is piles of paper and half-opened filing cabinets, not the fabulous vintage bookends you bought online. Unfortunately, some managers might assume that your home office environment is representative of your work style, and if its sloppy, they might think the work youll produce for them will be poorly executed, too. So before your interview, take the time to go through your office and remove everything that isnt necessary. Purge old papers (or scan the important ones), remove all clutter, and make it look as clean and professional as possible.5. Consider what youre eating.Of course, you know that its not the best idea to have a chili cheese hot dog (with extra onions) right before an in-person interview. But if you think it doesnt matter what you eat before a video interview, think again. No doubt youll be excited/nervous before your job interview, and eating something that can produce extra, well, bubbles into your system might need to be rethought. Eat something at least half an hour before your interview so that you will feel satiated and your brain can benefit from the nutrients. Lean proteins and whole grains are a good way to go- and save the double stuffed bean burrito for aprs interview. You can even drink coffee while doing a video interview- just dont overdo it or youll wind up a jittery job seeker6. Get completel y dressed. You have a video interview with a company you really want to work for. You prepped your home office, but figure since youre going to be seated for the entire interview that you only need to get dressed from the waist up- and leave your PJ bottoms and fluffy slippers on so youll feel comfortable. This should go without saying, but you should always get completely dressed for a video interview. You never know if the hiring manager will ask you for some sort of documentation that is sitting on top of a cabinet across the room- and requires you to get up right then and there. So even if your suit is feeling a little tight from your nerves (or those last 20 pounds you need to lose as part of your New Years resolution), be dressed to impress from head to toe for your video interview.Although video interviews might seem easier to do, they actually require the same (if not more) prep and careful consideration. So put the tips above into practice before doing a video interview, an d youll surely ace itReaders, are you prepared for doing a video interview? Have you ever not done one of these tips- and regretted it later? Let us know in the comments below

Making Setbacks Work for You

Making Setbacks Work for YouMaking Setbacks Work for YouHow can you tap into the power of a setback and make it work for you? I have nine recommendations.1.If youre shocked by the setback, ask yourself why.InAmbition How We Manage Success and Failure Throughout Our Lives, Gilbert Brim observes that sometimes we dont know we are losing until the very end. And thats notlage entirely our fault. In a nation of optimists, theres reluctance to deliver bad news. Its the courageous supervisor- and the equally courageous colleague- who will even hint that there are major problems.Oh, sure, there are signals. Your work comes back from the new powers-that-be with plenty of red pencil, and something in your gut says the new regime and you arent on the same wavelength. But its not unusual for the brass not to spell out that theres a problem. When it comes to bad news, your colleagues are usually equally evasive. Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, someone in command says, This just isnt work ing out.You can avoid the shock and perhaps even prevent the setback from happening if you develop the ability and the willingness to read the subtext beneath the surface. Its best to considereverythingin the workplace as symbolic. If youre not invited to a meeting, ask yourself what that means. If you dont receive a raise, ask what that could represent. If the baboes are consistently impatient with you and act as if you really get under their skin, ask yourself or a trusted colleague what might be going on.If this looming setback cant be prevented, dont welcheste time in denial. Your first few phone calls should be to those whove gone through similar ordeals. Those kinds of conversations bring home to you that youre not unique and that, yes, people do survive your particular kind of setback. Even before the setback occurs, abflug thinking about how to deal with it from a position of strength. Certainly you might want to consult a lawyer. But think seriously about all your options.2 .Be gentle with yourself.Setbacks can happen to anyone. Winston Churchill lost elections. So did Abraham Lincoln. Walt Disneys first animation studio went bankrupt. Billionaire Michael Bloomberg, former mayor of New York City, was fired from Salomon Brothers. Anna Wintour, before becoming editor ofVogue, was fired fromHarpers Bazaar. And do you remember Facebooks disastrous IPO? Anyone can take a hit. So give yourself a break.3.Dont play the blame game.Were you treated unfairly? Perhaps so. It happens. Unfortunately, no matter how angry you may be, you gain nothing by blaming others. Failure can be a springboard to success, but only if you are willing to put blame aside and consider whether you may have inadvertently contributed to the setback. Thats the only way you can hope to avoid similar crashes in the future. But even there, its self-destructive and inaccurate to blame yourself entirely for forces may be at work that has nothing to do with you. The best approach might be to ta ke the advice of the great Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. As he said inThe Emperors Handbook, If you fail, blame only yourself, or better yet, dont blame anyone. It was true in the second century, and its true now. Analyze dont blame.4.Get feedback.Everyone feels vulnerable after a setback, so it isnt easy to ask for feedback, even from friends and allies. But this could be the single most enlightening step you take. At the very least, doing this will let you know what people might be saying about you. And because youre in a crisis, youll find that people will tend to be straight with you.After she was selected for the first wave of layoffs at a major food company, a member of the public relations department did a smart thing. She went to one of her colleagues and asked why she had been let go. She knew there was a message there but just didnt know exactly what it was. The colleague was candid and told her she was a poor fit for corporate life. But I have never had trouble with seni or management, she said. And arent they the ones who count?The colleague then gave her an education on how images are formed in an organization, pointing out that the reason she had gotten by with senior executives was probably because their interaction with her was so limited. You couldnt sustain being a good corporate citizen was the way the colleague summed up her situation. Believe it or not, this was the first inkling she had that perhaps she didnt belong in this type of organization. And by ultimately leading her to a more hospitable work setting, this setback changed her life.5.Be open to alternatives,even if theyre not directly related to your current career path.A media representative who was laid off decided to try out her long-term dream of selling for a living. She realized that a lot of the skills she used in pitching stories to the media could be used in sales. She turned out to be more successful in sales than she had been in media relations. Many layoffs occur becaus e you are in a declining industry or a shrinking profession. Once youre out of it, the playing field seems more level, and you begin to do well.6.Keep it simple.Much of the advice you get during this crisis might seem simplistic. And it is. On the other hand, your problem might seem very complex to you. But it probably isnt. One man was put on probation at his job and assumed it was because he had deep-seated issues with authority. A colleague let him in on a little secret You cant stand the boss, and it shows. The solution to the problem was not for the man to figure out why he hated the boss it was simply for the man not to be so open in showing his feelings. If you think the interpretations people give you for why you suffered a setback are simplistic, keep listening. Theyre probably just cutting through all the psychobabble and giving you the truth.7.Move toward the future.The last place where you want to be stuck is in your current problem. Thats why so many people get active a fter a setback. They want to see movement. They want change. They go on diets, learn new computer skills, travel to San Francisco to see if they would like to relocate there, develop a whole new network and start new exercise regimes. Activities like these allow their frame of reference to shift topost-setback.8.Realize youre not the first person to be scared.You have plenty of company. Also, realize that fear is usually a friend it warns us to be careful. Fear becomes the enemy only when we allow it to control us. If youre becoming overly scared, call up someone who has been in your shoes and is now doing just fine.9.Refrain from becoming preoccupied with setbacks.Sure, youll learn a lot about failure when youre past it. But your goal is to go through it and not be fixated on failure. Its just one part of your professional experience. With luck, a small part.Excerpted with permission from the publisher Citadel Press, fromThe Critical First Years of Your Professional Lifeby Robert L . Dilenschneider. Copyright 2014.